A friend asked me “How can I force myself to do all the things on my to-do list when I have absolutely no motivation do it?” I’ve been there countless times, and maybe you have too. So here are some ways I’ve made it happen when I don’t want to.
Change your mind about forcing it and feeling powerless
You always have a choice. You can choose to keep the status quo. To remain static and remain in place. That’s a powerful choice.
Start with a Get to instead of a Got to.
Say to yourself, “I get to do this thing today. I get to do that thing today.”
Saying you’ve “got to” do something again leaves you feeling powerless, and will make it even harder to get started.
It’s a simple reframe, but it works.
Find your why
The key is always your why. When the why to becomes bigger than the why not, you will work to make change happen. Until it is, you probably won’t.
What happens if I don’t do this?
Now sometimes the why can be a what happens if I don’t do this? That pain can be strong – if you can add in some urgency or some compounding. If I don’t work out today, I’m going to die of diabetes. That’s a real one for me. But not today. So I can push it off. So I compound that with the I won’t have the energy to play on the weekend. I won’t have the strength to do the fun things I want to do. And I’ll need to buy new clothes and I love the clothes I have now, and some of the new clothes I bought don’t fit so I need to get back after it. And I will die earlier from diabetes and miss out on some prime time with those I love the most.
Thinking of it that way motivates me more.
Just get started
Ask yourself” What’s the first step I can take towards this goal or task?” And then get moving!
If you can’t do the whole thing right now, find out what’s one small step you can take. This is proved out in research by BJ Fogg and James Clear in the books Tiny Habits and Atomic Habits, respectively. Do something super small and then do that until it becomes a habit and then do more. Or break something up into a bunch of smaller things, add them to your to do list, and then get started, and enjoy the joy or crossing things off.
These little things help me to do many things I don’t want to do. I really hope they help you too.